You. Need. A. Break.

When I first started my career over two decades ago, I had a very different view of what it meant to be a “great” parent. I remember a mother that I worked closely with who did everything for her daughter. She was at every meeting, advocated for every service, and never seemed to rest. The mother was committed 24/7 to caring for her daughter and was prideful in placing her child’s needs far above her own. I marveled at her unparalleled commitment to her daughter and thought that this was the formula for a good parent.

After I moved to Southern California, the father reached out to me a few years later for behavioral advice. He told me that his wife eventually became so burned out over the years by the pressures of parenthood, that she left the family, leaving the father to care for his daughter by himself. For so many years, I had put this mother on a pedestal of the World’s Greatest Parents. I was devastated to learn that this Superwoman of parents could reach a breaking point, but it was perhaps one of the most important lessons that I have ever learned- we have to make time for ourselves as parents. We NEED our breaks.

It was from that point on that I placed the need for parent self-care at the top of my list as a clinician. I have given this advice to countless clients, friends, and family members. It’s a daily conversation that I have with myself and I know that I don’t always want to listen, but I try my best.

I tell people that we all have 15 minutes in our day to take a moment for ourselves. Not to pay bills, do the dishes, or run an errand. Just some simple times where we take a break from being a parent and give ourselves a much needed recharge for the day. Let your child watch tv, play on her iPad, or eat a snack. Take those precious moments to be selfish in the right way and it will pay off for you in the end. We all need to remember to regularly charge our batteries to be the best parent we want to be. Don’t feel guilty for taking care of yourself- your child depends on it.