Parenting Strategies for New Parents: Embracing Growth and Taking Suggestions
Becoming a parent is one of the most rewarding and challenging journeys you’ll ever take. From the first cry to the sleepless nights, it’s a whirlwind of learning on the go! If you’re a new parent, you might feel like everyone has advice for you—and it can be overwhelming. But here’s a comforting truth: parenting is a skill that takes years to develop. No one starts as an expert, and it’s okay not to know everything!
Let’s explore some practical parenting strategies, including how to accept and filter suggestions while embracing the learning curve of parenthood.
1. Start with the Basics: Your Baby, Your Instincts
As a new parent, you’re the one who knows your baby best. While books, blogs, and advice can be helpful, trust your instincts. Pay attention to your baby’s cues and rhythms—they’ll guide you more than any parenting manual.
Tip: Keep a simple routine. Babies thrive on predictability, so start with a flexible schedule for feeding, sleeping, and playtime.
2. Be Open to Suggestions, But Set Boundaries
It seems like everyone—family, friends, and even strangers—has parenting advice. Some tips might be golden, while others might not align with your values or situation. The key is to approach suggestions with an open mind while setting boundaries.
How to Handle Advice Gracefully:
Listen First: Hear people out without immediately dismissing their ideas. You might discover a nugget of wisdom in the least expected place. Most of the time, people are only giving suggestions out of a caring place, even if the delivery isn’t the best! Every new parent thinks that he or she is experiencing things in parenthood that are unique to them, but in reality, there are so many more commonalities that almost all parents have experienced!
Filter Through Your Values: Ask yourself, “Does this align with what’s best for my family and baby?” If not, it’s okay to say thank you and move on. It can take so much more energy to argue with someone rather than just offering a simple “thank you, I might have to try that out” and changing the conversation if you don’t want their advice. I will always tell other how much I appreciate their advice, even though I give out parenting advice for a living. It’s super easy to accidentally set up a wall between ourselves and others when it comes to parenting and it can make us come off in a highly unflattering light if we are automatically combative with suggestions.
Seek Expert Guidance: When in doubt, turn to trusted sources, such as your pediatrician or parenting experts, for advice grounded in research. It’s impossible to “know what’s best” for all things for your child- we simply don’t have all the expertise in all aspects of life to do so. We are tasked however, with making the best decision possible from what we do know, even if it might not be the right decision at the time.
3. Give Yourself Permission to Learn
No one becomes a great parent overnight! Just like any skill, parenting takes practice, trial and error, and time. Mistakes are inevitable, but they’re also opportunities to learn and grow. If this is your first child, you literally have only been a parent a few weeks or a few months! Parenting has been compared to a job, and no one is great at any job when they are brand new!
Remember This:
You don’t have to be perfect; you just have to be present.
It’s okay to change your approach as you gain more experience.
The best parents know that they don’t have all of the answers!
4. Focus on Connection, Not Perfection
In the early years, your baby doesn’t care if the house is spotless or if you follow every parenting trend. What they crave most is your love and attention. Simple things like talking to your baby, cuddling, and making eye contact build a strong foundation for their emotional development.
Pro Tip: Spend a few minutes each day engaging in uninterrupted one-on-one time with your baby, whether it’s during tummy time, a walk, or bedtime stories.
5. Build Your Support Network
Parenting is hard to do alone. Surround yourself with people who uplift you, whether it’s a partner, family, friends, or a parenting group. A strong support system can provide encouragement, perspective, and practical help.
Pro Tip: Don’t hesitate to ask for help! Whether it’s a trusted friend watching your baby for an hour or a parenting coach providing guidance, seeking support is a sign of strength, not weakness. So many times, parents think that asking for help means that he or she is not a good parent and this could not be anything further from the truth!
6. Celebrate Small Wins
Parenting can sometimes feel like a marathon with no finish line. That’s why it’s important to celebrate the small victories—whether it’s surviving your baby’s first growth spurt, getting them to sleep through the night, or finding five minutes to drink a warm cup of coffee.
Try This: At the end of each day, reflect on one thing you did well as a parent. This practice can boost your confidence and help you focus on the positives. Our “best” fluctuates every single day depending on our mental and physical health, work, and other life challenges that come at us! Aim to do better tomorrow (even if we fail) and that will be the light that helps to guide us as parents!
Final Thoughts: Embrace the Journey
Parenting is not about knowing everything—it’s about showing up, learning, and growing alongside your child. Give yourself grace as you navigate this new role, and remember, it takes time to become the parent you aspire to be. There will be hurdles and unexpected turns along the way that can frazzle the most experienced of parents. However, as long as we continue to allow growth as parents and are not afraid to adapt, you will continue to set yourself up for success for years to come!
If you’re looking for more personalized support or evidence-based parenting strategies, I’m here to help. Together, we can tackle the challenges and celebrate the joys of parenthood. You’ve got this!
Jason Omoto, MS, BCBA, offers practical, research-based parenting support through Omoto ABA Consulting.
Follow me @the_aba_guy on all social media platforms!
