How to Help When Your Child Doesn’t Want to Do Homework

Homework time can be tough! You’ve had a long day, and your child might be feeling the same way. But with a few simple strategies, you can make homework feel a little less like a battle and a little more like teamwork. Here’s how you can help your child get their homework done without the usual resistance.

1. Start with a Positive Mindset

Kids can feel your energy. If you approach homework with dread, they’ll pick up on it. Instead, start with a positive mindset. Try saying things like, “Let’s see what we can learn today!” or “I can’t wait to see what you know.” It might sound simple, but starting with positivity can make a big difference in how they respond. Also, if you’re feeling super stressed at the moment, give yourself a small break before starting the homework routine. Yes, you have a 100 things to get done before they go to bed, but we want to maximize our effectiveness when working with them. We have to make sure that we set up both the parent and the child for success!

2. Create a Homework Routine

Children thrive on routines. A set time and place for homework can help make it feel like a natural part of their day. Choose a quiet spot where they can focus, and pick a time that works for both of you—maybe right after a snack or a short play break. Keep it consistent so they know, “This is homework time.” It also helps to use a visual schedule either with pictures or words so that they can can visually see what is next.

3. Give Breaks to Recharge

If your child has a lot of homework or struggles with focusing for long periods, try breaking things up. Let them know that after 10-15 minutes of working, they can take a quick 5-minute break to stretch, grab a drink, or do something they enjoy. These little breaks give them a chance to recharge and come back ready to work (it also gives a short and needed break for the parents as well!).

4. Make Homework Manageable

Sometimes kids feel overwhelmed by the amount of homework they have to do. Instead of focusing on everything at once, help them break it down into smaller tasks. You can say, “Let’s start with the first question,” or “Let’s try to finish three problems and then check in.” When tasks are smaller, they feel easier to tackle. This is also a great skill to apply to so many other things in life!

5. Use Encouragement and Praise

Kids respond well to encouragement, especially when they’re trying their best. Acknowledge their effort, not just the results. For example, you could say, “I see you’re really focused—that’s awesome!” or “You’re doing great sticking with it!” Positive words can keep them motivated and show them you appreciate their hard work!

6. Offer Choices to Empower Them

Children are more likely to cooperate when they feel they have some control. Offer small choices during homework time. This could be as simple as, “Would you like to do math or reading first?” or “Do you want to use markers or pencils?” These choices help them feel involved and in control, making homework feel less like a chore.

7. Create a Reward System

If homework is a real struggle, consider setting up a simple reward system to keep them motivated. It doesn’t have to be complicated—a sticker chart, a small treat, or extra playtime/screen time can go a long way. Let your child know that after finishing homework, they’ll earn something they enjoy. Just make sure to keep the reward reasonable and easy to deliver. Remember, no one works for free!

8. Stay Calm and Supportive

Homework time can bring out frustration for both parents and kids. If your child is resisting, try to stay calm and take a step back. If they’re feeling stressed, acknowledge their feelings by saying, “I know this feels hard. Let’s do this together.” Sometimes, all they need is a little empathy to feel understood and ready to try again. Also remember to take your own breaks when needed!

9. Celebrate Small Wins

When your child completes their homework, no matter how big or small the task, take a moment to celebrate. It could be as simple as saying, “Great job! You did it!” or giving them a high-five. Celebrating these small successes can build their confidence and make them feel good about their efforts.

Final Thoughts

Homework doesn’t have to be a daily struggle. With a positive approach, a little structure, and plenty of encouragement, you can make homework time more enjoyable for both you and your child. Remember, your support means the world to them, and every small success adds up to help them develop a positive attitude toward learning.